Joke of the Week!

Not that I need reminding, but time flies much too fast.
When I was a teenager, I used to whine to my parents,
"Just once I would like to see Aerosmith in concert before I die."

The other day my 13-year-old son, an aspiring rock star, blew my
mind with this:
"Dad, I'd like to see Aerosmith just once before they die."

Joke of the Week!

Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles.
One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "if only I can sell the car."

"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles.
Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic.
Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

Joke of the Week!

After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons."Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God."
The pastor was thrilled. "Nobody has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why."

"Because it endured forever."

Joke of the Week!

Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore under fiction

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?

A: The next time you are in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?

A: Their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "I remember these

Joke of the Week!

Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to
the office. Why?

Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Hubby - You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Wife - Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What
other problem can there be greater than this one?'