Joke of the Week!

An old man strode in to his doctors office and said,
"Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my
prescription and to check the prescription you've
been giving to Mrs. Smith."
"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And
since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"

The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth
control pills since February."

Joke of the Week!

Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles.
One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "if only I can sell the car."

"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles.
Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic.
Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

Joke of the Week!

Whoever figured this out has gotta be a deadly Scrabble player:

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME (or Lost Cash Mine)

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS, NO MORE Zs

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

Joke of the Week!

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup
and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. 'I've
never been better!' he boasted. 'I've got an eighteen
year old bride who's pregnant and having my child!
What do you think about that?'

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,
'Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an
avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day
went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally
grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.' The doctor
continued, 'So he was in the woods and suddenly a
grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up
his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed
the handle.' 'And do you know what happened?' the
doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied 'No.'

The doctor continued, 'The bear dropped dead in
front of him!'

'That's impossible!' exclaimed the old man. 'Someone
else must have shot that bear.'

'That's kind of what I'm getting at...' replied the doctor.