Joke of the Week!

SISTER MARY KATHERINE

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery.
You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may
not speak until I direct you to do so."

>> >>>>

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5
years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary
Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can
speak two words."

>> >>>>

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."

>> >>>>

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We
will get you a better bed."

>> >>>>

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was
called by the Priest. "You may say another two
words, Sister Mary Katherine."

>> >>>>

"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and
the Priest assured her that the food would be
better in the future.

>> >>>>

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the
Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into
his office. "You may say two words today."

>> >>>>

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

>> >>>>

"It's probably best," said the Priest, "You've
done nothing but complain since you got here."

>> >>>>

Joke of the Week!

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien
in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls
him out and says 'Sorry, you know the law, you've
got to go back across the border right now.'

The man pleads with them, 'No, noooo Senior, I
must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!'

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going
to make it hard for him and says 'Ok, I'll let you stay
if you can use 3 english words in a sentence'.

The man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, 'The 3 words are:
Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence.'

The man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then
says, 'Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green,
Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?'

Joke of the Week!

English is very strange

- Did you know that 'verb' is a noun?
- How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't
spell them?
- If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
- If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't
two houses hice?
- If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
- If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also
mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to
remember them?
- Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be
spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?
- Is there another word for a synonym?
- Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?
- Why can't you make another word using all the letters in
'anagram'?
- Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
- Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
- Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl?'
- Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
- Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
- Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?
- Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and
say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment?
- Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
- Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
- Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
- Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Joke of the Week!

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked,
"I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take 10 yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk
quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady
standing beside her.

"Grandma is paying for it," she smiled.